Practical Words on Fasting from Isaiah 58, The Message Version

Your Prayers Won't Get Off the Ground

¹"Shout! A full-throated shout!
Hold nothing back--a trumpet-blast shout!
Tell my people what's wrong with their lives,
face my family Jacob with their sins!

²They're busy, busy, busy at worship,
and love studying all about me.
To all appearances they're a nation of right-living people--
law-abiding, God-honoring.
They ask me, "What's the right thing to do?'
and love having me on their side.

³But they also complain,
"Why do we fast and you don't look our way?
Why do we humble ourselves and you don't even notice?'
"Well, here's why:
"The bottom line on your "fast days' is profit.
You drive your employees much too hard.

⁴You fast, but at the same time you bicker and fight.
You fast, but you swing a mean fist.
The kind of fasting you do
won't get your prayers off the ground.

⁵Do you think this is the kind of fast day I'm after:
a day to show off humility?
To put on a pious long face
and parade around solemnly in black?
Do you call that fasting,
a fast day that I, GOD, would like?

⁶"This is the kind of fast day I'm after:
to break the chains of injustice,
get rid of exploitation in the workplace,
free the oppressed,
cancel debts.

⁷What I'm interested in seeing you do is:
sharing your food with the hungry,
inviting the homeless poor into your homes,
putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad,
being available to your own families.

⁸Do this and the lights will turn on,
and your lives will turn around at once.
Your righteousness will pave your way.
The GOD of glory will secure your passage.

⁹Then when you pray, GOD will answer.
You'll call out for help and I'll say, "Here I am.'
"If you get rid of unfair practices,
quit blaming victims,
quit gossiping about other people's sins,

A Full Life in the Emptiest of Places

¹⁰If you are generous with the hungry
and start giving yourselves to the down--and-out,
Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness,
your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight.

¹¹I will always show you where to go.
I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places--
firm muscles, strong bones.
You'll be like a well-watered garden,
a gurgling spring that never runs dry.

¹²You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,
rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
You'll be known as those who can fix anything,
restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,
make the community livable again.

¹³"If you watch your step on the Sabbath
and don't use my holy day for personal advantage,
If you treat the Sabbath as a day of joy,
GOD's holy day as a celebration,
If you honor it by refusing "business as usual,'
making money, running here and there--

¹⁴Then you'll be free to enjoy GOD!
Oh, I'll make you ride high and soar above it all.
I'll make you feast on the inheritance of your ancestor Jacob."
Yes! GOD says so!

The Way of Love

¹If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

²If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing.

³If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

⁴Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,

⁵Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

⁶Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

⁷Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

⁸Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. ⁹We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. ¹⁰But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

¹¹When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

¹²We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

¹³But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Love in Action: Watching What We Say

As we continue to grow in spiritual maturity all areas of our live are indelibly changed for the good.  It is not only something we know, but we begin to unknowingly bear fruit that others can see.  Part of that for some of us is that the way we speak begins to change.  

We began to realize the power we have with our words.  Not only to speak and make great professions of faith, but also how we speak to people in our every day lives.  How we communicate with co-workers, children, spouses, friends, difficult people; how we speak to everyone.  We can never be perfect but when we have Christ as our center we are always moving...progress not perfection.  

Ecclesiastes 8:1 - There's nothing better than being wise, Knowing how to interpret the meaning of life. Wisdom puts light in the eyes, And gives gentleness to words and manners. No One Can Control the Wind

Ecclesiastes 10:12- The words of a wise person are gracious. The talk of a fool self-destructs


Proverbs 15:14  Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim. 

Proverbs 16:21 A wise person gets known for insight; gracious words add to one's reputation. 

Proverbs 18:20  Words satisfy the mind as much as fruit does the stomach; good talk is as gratifying as a good harvest. 

Proverbs 18:21  Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit--you choose.
 

Proverbs 21:23 Watch your words and hold your tongue; you'll save yourself a lot of grief. 

Proverbs 25:11 - The right word at the right time is like a custom-made piece of jewelry, 

Ephesians 5:26  - Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, 

1 Thessalonian 5:11 - So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you'll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you're already doing this; just keep on doing it. The Way He Wants You to Live 

James 3:3-12 - 

 3 A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. 4 A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. 5 A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything--or destroy it! It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire.6 A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. 7 This is scary: You can tame a tiger, 8 but you can't tame a tongue--it's never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. 9 With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. 10 Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can't go on. 11 A spring doesn't gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? 12 Apple trees don't bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don't bear apples, do they? You're not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you? Live Well, Live Wisely

I used to have the sharpest tongue this side of the Mississippi.  My father says my tongue was so sharp that a person would be rather blacked physically than to hear my cutting words.  When I became a Christian I wanted to love and power of God to overflow and overtake me.  He began that work long ago and will continue it until I am united with Him.  

During a season in my life when I was dealing with an extremely difficult person I reverted back to my old ways of cutting with words.  The relationship I had with God and my willingness to "listen" to his written word I began to become painfully aware that each word I speak matters.  Today I am not perfect, but I am learning to harness my tongue.  I want to be responsible for building and not breaking down.  I did more than a lifetime of damage with my words.  That was the old me...As I began to grow in fullness of Christ he uncovered this opportunity for growth.  I am thankful today that there is less harm coming out of my mouth.  One day I hope to have grown to complete maturity in this area.  I get tired of saying sorry:)  Have a loving day today!!!

Healing Relationships:An excerpt of The Language of Apologies by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas

"If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him--work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. Matthew 18:15

*The following is an excerpt of The Language of Apologies by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas and NOT WRITTEN BY THE OWNER OF THIS BLOG*

We are experts at wronging each other, but when it comes to setting things right, we all could use some help. New York Times best-selling author Gary Chapman teams with counselor Jennifer Thomas in an eye-opening study of one of the most important yet least understood pillars of human relationships: the apology. Surprisingly, saying “I’m sorry,” isn’t primarily a matter of will—it’s a matter of how.

• Expressing Regret
  “Expressing Regret” is the Apology Language that zeroes in on emotional hurt. It is an admission of guilt and shame for causing pain to another person. For those who listen for “Expressing Regret” apologies, a simple “I’m sorry” is all they look for. There is no need for explanation or “pay back” provided the apology has truly come from the heart. “Expressing Regret” is a powerful Apology Language because it gets right to the point. 

  
  

  It doesn’t make excuses or attempt to deflect blame. Above all, “Expressing Regret” takes ownership of the wrong. For that reason, “Expressing Regret” is understood as a sincere commitment to repair and rebuild the relationship. The “Expressing Regret” Apology Language speaks most clearly when the person offering the apology reflects sincerity not only verbally, but also through body language. Unflinching eye contact and a gentle, but firm touch are two ways that body language can underscore sincerity.
  
  
• Accept Responsibility
  It is very difficult for some people to admit that they’re wrong. It makes them doubt their self-worth, and no one likes to be portrayed as a failure. However, as adults, we must all admit that we are sinners and that we will make mistakes. We are going to make poor decisions that hurt our mates, and we are going to have to admit that we were wrong. We have to accept responsibility for our own failures. For many individuals, all they want is to hear the words, “I am wrong.” 
  
  
  If the apology neglects accepting responsibility for their actions, many partners will not feel as though the apology was meaningful and sincere. Many partners need to learn how to overcome their ego, the desire to not be viewed as a failure, and simply admit that their actions were wrong. For a mate who speaks this apology language, if an apology does not admit fault, it is not worth hearing. 
  
  
  Being sincere in your apology means allowing yourself to be weak, and admitting that you make mistakes. Though this may be hard to do for some people, it makes a world of a difference to your partner who speaks this language.
  
  

• Make Restitution
  In our society, many people believe that wrong acts demand justice. The one who commits the crime should pay for their wrongdoing. A mate who speaks this love language feels the same way towards apologies. They believe that in order to be sincere, the person who is apologizing should justify their actions. The mate who’s been hurt simply wants to hear that their mate still loves them.
  
  
  There are many effective ways to demonstrate sincerity in an apology. Each mate must learn the other’s love language in order to complete the act of restitution. Though some mates may feel a though all is forgotten with a bouquet of flowers, that may not necessarily work for all mates. Every mate should uncover what their partner’s main love language is (Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts) and use that specific language in order to make restitutions in the most effective way.
  
  
  For a mate whose primary apology language is making restitutions, no matter how often you say “I’m sorry”, or “I was wrong”, your mate will never find the apology sincere. You must show strong efforts for making amends. A genuine apology will be accompanied by the assurance that you still love your mate and have a desire to right the wrong-doings committed.
  
  
• Genuinely Repent
  For some individuals, repentance is the convincing factor in an apology. Some mates will doubt the sincerity of an apology if it is not accompanied by their partner’s desire to modify their behavior to avoid the situation in the future.
  
  
  It’s important to remember that all true repentance begins in the heart. A mate must feel poorly for hurting their loved one, and rely on God’s help in order to truly change. Admitting you are wrong creates vulnerability. It allows your mate to get a glimpse of your heart. The glimpse of true self is assurance that the apology was sincere.

  
  
  One important aspect of genuinely repenting is verbalizing your desire to change. Your mate cannot read your mind. Though you may be trying to change inside, if you do not verbalize your desire to change to your mate, most likely they will still be hurt.
  
  
  Many people have problems with repenting when they do not feel as though their actions were morally wrong. However, in a healthy relationship, we often make changes that have nothing to do with morality and everything to do with building a harmonious marriage.
  It is also important to make a dedicated plan for change. 
  
  
  Often apologies involving repentance fail because the person never set up steps of action to help ensure success. A person must first set goals for their change. After you create realistic goals, then you can start implementing a plan to change. Taking baby steps towards repentance instead of insisting on changing all at once will increase your chances of successfully changing your ways.
  
  
  It is important to remember that change is hard. Constructive change does not mean we will immediately be successful. There will be highs and lows on the road to change. You must remember that with God’s help, anyone can change their ways if they are truly and genuinely ready to repent.
  
  
• Request Forgiveness
  In some relationships, a mate wants to hear their partner physically ask for forgiveness. They want assurance that their mate recognizes the need for forgiveness. By asking forgiveness for their actions, a partner is really asking their mate to still love them. Requesting forgiveness assures your mate that you want to see the relationship fully restored. It also proves to your mate that you are sincerely sorry for what you’ve done. 
  
  
  It shows that you realize you’ve done something wrong. Requesting forgiveness also shows that you are willing to put the future of the relationship in the hands of the offended mate. You are leaving the final decision up to your partner – to forgive or not forgive.
  
  
  Requesting forgiveness is not easy. It often leaves one vulnerable to the fear of rejection. Along with the fear of rejection is the fear of failing. Many people have a hard time seeking forgiveness because it means admitting that you have failed. The only way to overcome this fear is to recognize that it is very common amongst mankind. The commonality makes it okay to be a failure. It allows a stubborn mate to apologize to their partner and become a healthy individual.
  
  
  Ultimately, it’s important to remember that there is a difference between asking for forgiveness and DEMANDING forgiveness. When we demand forgiveness, we tend to forget the nature of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice the offended party is supposed to make. Demanding forgiveness takes away the sincerity of asking for it.
  
  
  Remember not to treat forgiveness lightly. It is something to be cherished and appreciated. The act of forgiveness is hard on both ends – for the person who’s asking and for the person who’s accepting.



Cultivating Friendship

"By yourself you're unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped." Ecclesiastes 4:12
 

Friendships are incredibly important. At certain stages in our lives, friendships are everything to us – the most important thing in our lives. Friendships help define us. Our friends can influence our choices – where we live, what we eat, what we buy.  Friendships grow and change as people come and grow. There is old proverb that says, “friends are flowers in the garden of life.”  Friendships need their own kind of water and soil to grow healthy and strong.  The following are 25 things to keep in mind to facilitate building stronger friendships.

1. Choose friends wisely. You do not have to be everyone’s friend. Choose to be friends with people who build you up, not tear you down. Choose friends who inspire you and welcome you, not alienate and insult you. You can’t choose the family you are born into, but you can choose your friends.
2. Listen. Listen closely to what the other person is saying. Let that person know that you hear them. Ask clarifying questions. Summarize what you’ve heard. Though helpful, it does not always have to be through words. Eye contact and body language are also important ways of showing someone you are listening.
3. Respond carefully. Think before you speak – especially if you are angry. Sometimes, taking a moment to think about what you say before you start blurting things out will spare hurt feelings and bruised pride. Also, when friends feel like it is okay to be themselves around you, they trust you. Choose your words with care.
4. Avoid consistently giving advice or trying to fix all of your friend’s problems. By all means, if a friend asks for your advice, give it. They might want you to proofread an important email before it is sent out. Maybe they are struggling with a relationship. Perhaps life is throwing them a curve ball and they need your support or insight. Don’t wiggle your way into every aspect of your friend’s life, telling them how to be the star of their own show. Give them room to process things and make their own decisions.
5. Play fair. Avoid trying to one-up your friends. Eventually your friends won’t want to play with you anymore.
6. Be authentic. Be yourself. Be honest. Avoid putting up a façade. We all test our relationships by throwing something out there about our true nature. We then hide behind a corner, head peeking out, waiting for the response.  If someone can’t accept you for who you are, developing a relationship with them will be hard. Don’t shortchange yourself by denying your beliefs, values, and point of view, for the sake of fitting in. You won’t be doing anyone any favors.
7. Communicate openly and honestly. Developing communication with a person can take time – and trust! Ask your friends what you can do for them. Share what you have to offer. Don’t be afraid to let people know what you need. Share what is necessary, but don’t dominate conversation. When a problem arises, work through it together.
8. Accept your friends for who they are. On your search for friends who can accept your authentic self, keep in mind – other people are looking for the same thing. We all want people who love us for who we are.
9. Respect their choices. It is okay to disagree. If your friend decides to make a move when you think standing still is the right thing to do, let them do their thing. If you’ve given your advice and your friend sees things differently, step aside. What your friend is doing might be right for their life but not yours. They might be making a mistake, but if it doesn’t kill them, maim them, or leave them in a coma, hopefully they can learn from the experience. And, if it will kill them, lock them in a closet and don’t let them out until they’ve forgotten why you trapped them in there in the first place.
10. Be the kind of friend you want others to be for you. You want friends who are honest, kind, compassionate, fair, not judgmental, authentic, and intelligent.  Be that person first and you’ll be more likely to attract that kind of friend into your life.
11. Be empathetic. Trying to understand things from your friend’s point of view can help you communicate and understand each other better.
12. Give compliments. Show love for your friends by complimenting them on their good qualities or things they do well. Has a friend done something you admire them for? Let them know!
13. Express your gratitude. Let your friends know that you value your friendship. Tell them. Write them a note. Did you see the collector’s edition of their favorite movie while you were out? Buy a copy. Surprise your friend by taking him or her out for lunch or dinner at one of their favorite places.
14. Admit and apologize. When you do something wrong, admit it.  Learn to apologize. Sometimes a friend is upset, and all they want from you is to (genuinely) say “sorry.” It shows that you realize your misstep, and that you will hopefully not make the same mistake again.
15. Let go. Did a friend do something that hurt you? Have you talked it through? Were apologies made? Let go and move on! If you don’t, you’ll hang on to the transgression and it will taint the relationship going forward. Don’t trudge up a prickly patch of your past. Try your best to make a fresh start.
16. Make time for your friends. Spend time with your friends. It might feel odd to schedule your friends on your calendar, but if you have a busy schedule, getting them in your book, is better than letting them go. Show your friends that you want to be around them. Is your friend far away? Write them an email, chat with them via IM, call them on the phone, plan a weekend get together. Making time for your friends sends the message that they are an important part of your life.
17. Keep your promises.  If you know you can’t deliver something, don’t promise that you will. If you make a promise, do you best to keep it. It is better to say “I don’t think I can make it on Saturday night, but lets get lunch next week,” than saying you will show up, and then accept a different invitation or cancel at the last minute.
18. Celebrate what you have in common. Most friendships are started because of some common thread – a favorite sport, a love of books, an appreciation of fine wine, an insufferable boss. Get season tickets to your favorite baseball team or check out the local library book sale together next month.
19. Try new things together. What new experiences can you share with your friend? It could be as simple as checking out the new local coffee shop, or as adventurous as bungee jumping.
20. Have fun together. Friendships, like any other relationship, can fall into a rut sometimes – especially if all you do with your friends is share your latest complaints every time you see each other. Shake up the routine. Go out and do something fun you both enjoy, or look at that list of new things to try that you came up with and do one of them. It’s great to have a friend you can open up with, but lighten the burden load and let loose – create some happy memories together.
21. Seek balance in your friendship. Entering a relationship with selfish motives and being a person who takes and takes and takes until the well runs dry, is likely to lead a lonely life. Serve and support your friends. What can you do for them? How can you help? What can you add to their life or their day to make it a little bit better?
22. Take equal responsibility for the friendship. Take turns making plans or driving across town to see each other. If there is a problem, acknowledge your part in it and figure out, together, how to make it right. If both people are not tending to the relationship, it will not flourish.
23. Be a cheerleader. Be encouraging. Motivate your friends. Affirmation goes a long way. If your friends aren’t in your corner, who is?
24. Keep personal information confidential. As relationships grow, it is common for friends to share confidential information with you. If a friend tells you a secret it is because they trust you and believe that you will keep what they told you in the strictest of confidence.  Do not betray your friend by sharing their secret stories with others. Many times a relationship has been ruined over spilled secrets.
25. Unclench your fist. Friendships grow and change. Sometimes they end.  You can change a lot in a year. Imagine how much you can change in 10 years. The person you were when you met someone is not the person you will always be. You grow up. You change your mind about things. Your friends will do the same. Sometimes a friend you’ve known for years will start to play a bigger role in your life as the years pass. Perhaps your lifestyles change radically and spending tons of time together just does not feel right anymore because you have fewer interests in common.  This friend might stay in your life, but might have less impact on and influence in it. That’s okay.  If a person is bringing you down, hurting you, or starts to go down a dangerous path, it is completely acceptable to end the relationship. Sometimes we struggle to hang on to a wilting relationship. Many times, it is healthier to let go.

Alaia Williams is a Professional Organizer based in Los Angeles, CA. Her blog, One Organized Life, includes articles about organizing, simplicity, work/life balance, and productivity.

taken from: http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/08/29/build-stronger-friendships/