the enemy is pragmatic so We should be too

Our enemy is pragmatic.

He won't tempt you with something you are not interested in. He tempts you subtly...and the desires he caters to often are in our human nature...he doesn't always come big and bold and obvious...just as he tempted Jesus.

He tempted him with food, riches and power. He is also clever with timing.  He came to Jesus when he was physically weak because he had been fasting.  He comes when we are weak and tries to beat us down.

Those of us with the Holy Spirit have a helper to aid us. I call it the super tutor.  The Holy Spirit doesn't make us choose to do or not do anything.  It does not take the test for us. Yet He does fully equip us with everything we need to ace the test.

"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

Each and every time I have fallen during my walk and I was in contact with God before I made my choice I would feel Spirit tell me to flee.  I chose not to.  But I didn't have to fall.

I have found in my life that my greatest weakness is not innately wrong.  Yet because it is a weakness for me I have to be pragmatic to protect myself from temptations in a very real and practical way for my everyday life just as I seek God's help spiritually.  It is God who will keep me and as I become mature and wise in my walk I learn to safeguard myself based on what I do know.  It is wisdom.

Think.

Let’s put on our spiritual critical thinking caps.

Let's not get caught up over and over by the same things. We can win. The weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty through God...

We have to be just as pragmatic with our temptations as our enemy is pragmatic in presenting and creating them. Know your weakness and then go to God and be fortified against them. Any wise leader in battle identifies not only the weakness of their enemy, but also their own weaknesses. Then they strengthen the weak points. That is wisdom.

Strengthen yourself today with his word. Prayer and then reading Proverbs is a spectacular start.

The Strength of Transparency

Psalms: Some call it insight on spiritual things and the reality of raw human emotion of the man after God's own heart. Can't beat that with a stick. We can be okay with having feelings because after all the man after God's own heart had some very desperate, anxious and fearful ones.  We can learn from the book of Psalms that feelings and emotions are inevitable.  We can process them with God and then come out in faith knowing that He is Sovereign and never ceases to be in control.

The author shares his heartbreak, fear, anxiety and tears he says "But as for me, I trust in you" to God. What more valuable lesson can be learned. We acknowledge where we are and then turn ourselves and our lives over to the care of God.

There is no pretense.

No overly spiritual "God is in control and will make a way" attitude to negate and discount or avoid the reality of his humanity.

No....

When I read the book I see the author saying "This is where I am God. This is what I am feeling. And I still trust you".  I think that is a sign of spiritual maturity.

We see Jesus do something very similar in his most trying time in the Garden of Gethsemane.  He cries out overwhelmed with the pain of what was going to happen.  The following passage shares Jesus' transparency he prepares for the crucifixion as taken by Matthew 26:36-38


"Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me. 39 And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."

I remember clearly going through some very difficult and emotionally painful times during my walk with Christ when life got very lifey.  I studied His word looking for comfort.  I told God I was tired of crying.  He directed me to read about the Garden of Gethsemane.  I saw Jesus, God in the flesh struggle with His very raw and painful emotions. Each time he came to the same conclusion...Not my will by thine be done. He didn't stop after saying it once.  I believe he was processing through his grief.  For him, 3 was the number.  Nonetheless he was real with himself and could present himself in a transparent manner to God and ask for His help.


If Jesus, who is God could be transparent and receive strength from above could it not be for me also, being a joint heir? I have learned to be real with myself.  I have learned to be transparent before God and ask for his Divine help.  He will never fail me. He said when we seek for Him we will find him.

Learning to be real with myself has helped me develop a heart of compassion for others. I think compassion and empathy are essential tools to help minster to God's people. I can back that up with Scripture and will in time.   People are broken and they need a Savior. 

I am thankful for those who have the compassionate heart of God when dealing with His people.  I am extremely thankful for a very good spiritual Shepard and his wife.  They are exemplifying God's love in action by the way they treat the flock.  I also have a host of friends who operate this way as well.


I have come to believe that God can restore and long ago and will for each and every day of my life make a decision to turn my will and life over into the CARE of God.

He always has had the best intent for me:)  That I can rest in.

"I yell out to my God, I yell with all my might, I yell at the top of my lungs. He listens." Psalm 71:1

King of Desire: Wanting what God wants brings fulfillment every time.

“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart's desires. Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.” Psalms 37:4-5

Faith is like a muscle.  You work out, your muscle gains mass and strength.  The physiological term is hypertrophy.  It never changes its capacity of use.  It is the same muscle, it is just grown to accommodate its usage. If you don’t use the muscle it lacks strength and shrinks.  The physiological term for this is atrophy.  The muscle is the same muscle atrophied or hypertrophied.   Yet its strength and ease of use is affected by how much it is used.

I start off talking about faith when it comes to God fulfilling our desires because to fully grasp and take hold of this requires faith.  It takes faith in believe that he will grant us desires in addition to needs.  It’s not what I think.  It is what his word says. Jesus himself mentioned us having what we want on more than one occasion:

"Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing…But if you stay joined to me and my words remain in you, you may ask any request you like, and it will be granted!”  John 15:5,7

“Then Jesus said to the disciples, "Have faith in God. I assure you that you can say to this mountain, 'May God lift you up and throw you into the sea,' and your command will be obeyed. All that's required is that you really believe and do not doubt in your heart. Listen to me! You can pray for anything, and if you believe, you will have it.” Mark 11:22-24

So guess what??

We as believers have permission to ask God for something we want and expect it to happen when it is in line with His Divine plan. 

If you are single, you may desire a life partner.  That is completely within the will of God because He created marriage.  If you believe it will happen for you in His perfect timing.  Once you grab a hold of that any anxiety or fear about the future will disappear.  You realize it is already done and you just sit back with your Faith shaded glasses on and wait for it's manifestation. 

 

That being said don’t expect your desire to be fulfilled if it is a ungodly desire such as wanting another person’s spouse.  That is NOT in line with God’s will.  Adultery prayers are never answered by God.  Yes, I have heard foolish, ungodly prayers like this before.  That is an indicator of poor spiritual health within that person.

Know what God’s word says and you will know what is in His will.  I pray for God’s love to flow freely to others through me.  That is within His Divine will.  I pray for the fruit of the spirit to grow.  That is within His Divine will. I pray for a life partner.  That is within his divine will. 

When our desires are His expressly written desires or fall within His will we can rest assured that He will grant them. 

That’s not what I think.  That’s His word and is a part of the Spiritual Law of Causation.

Relational Integrity: A Marking of Spiritual Maturity

"It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows." Galatians 5:13

I am seeking to be a spiritually mature Christian.  Many believers unfortunately never reach this place because they refuse to fully embrace ALL of God's truths and principles set forth in His love letter.  There is no greater area of disconnect than how the scripture commands us to treat others and the way we actually do.  I am striving to be reflective of God in all my ways, including my relationships with believers and unbelievers alike.  This is one of the greatest way we can impact others for God's kingdom.

The following is taken directly from the book “The 10 Best Decisions Singles Can Make”

All relationships are easier when they are genuine, and the greatest stealer of joy in life is a relationship in turmoil…I believe the main reason there is so much trauma in relationships is that people lack integrity.  They make verbal commitments but don’t’ have the resolve to follow through with them.  They say they will sacrifice but quickly decide it’s too hard and too much is being asked.  People convince others they are loyal and committed to the same goals, but then they manipulate circumstances to take over while they move others out of the way. People gossip when they should be friends.  They criticize when they should be supportive.  They lie when they should be honest.

As a result, most of us have stories of friendships, work relationships and church conflict that have surprised us and broken our hearts.  Being able to look yourself in the eye, knowing that you’ve treated people well, is much better…

Relationships can feel complicated at times, especially if the others person is not living in accord with how God would treat people.  Josh McDowell developed a simple way to help us all live with integrity in our relationships.  He put three question marks on a set of dog tags for his son and a heart formed out of three question marks on a necklace for his daughter.  What are the three questions marks for you, you ask? They are a remainder to ask three questions that maintain JOY in any and all relationships.

                                Does your decision or action show respect for Jesus?

                                Does your decision or action show respect for Others?

                                Does your decision or action show respect for Yourself?

We have seen that people who pause to ask these questions before they say or do things are better able to stay under the umbrella of God’s blessing.  Their friendships have fewer issues, their business network is more effective, and their influence on others is more trusted.

The 10 Best Decisions a Single Can Make is written by Bill and Pam Farrel

Visualization: Put on your Faith shaded glasses

Dr. Adams, my pastor has been preaching a series on faith for the past several weeks.  In one of the sermons he preached about using visualization to help ourselves see by faith what we cannot always see in the natural.

I have been using visualization for years.  The bottom line is it works.  I have used it to picture myself literally laying my problems on the lap of God.  While I know that God does not have a body like man the idea of putting something on his lap or at his feet helps my psyche to release whatever it is I am going through.  Or if I am having trouble sleeping I picture myself going to Abba’s House where I can talk with Jesus or just go to sleep in my room which happens to be all white, calming and very wispy.  The concept of taking my mind someplace else helps.

The same can be applied to our faith if we activate the God kind of faith in our lives. 

A beloved friend of mine who is also a theologian told me that everyone has been given a measure of faith.  He taught me that everyone has the God kind of faith that can make things happen but not everyone activates their faith to do so.  He helped me build my faith tremendously.  As I began to seek God’s truth on the matter my pastor began a teaching on faith confirming everything my friend had told me. 

One day my pastor preached a message on the power of visualization.  I have visualized to help me relieve anxiety but never visualized about something I had faith for.  Visualization about faith matters can help relieve anxiety as well.

Since I have started doing this it has literally rocked my world.  Visualization is putting on faith shaded glasses.  Visualization allows you to see by faith what your human eyes cannot see.

That same visualization will activate your faith so that you began to prepare to receive whatever it is that you are having faith for.

If you have faith that you will be married you began to prepare yourself for marriage tying up any loose ends.  This is true for me.  I wrote down the attributes of the Proverbs 31 wife and evaluated myself in the areas.  Those areas that I am deficient in I prayed for God’s strength and changing power and began to seek to strengthen myself in those areas.  Why?  Because my husband is coming and I plan to be ready when he arrives.  In fact, he is en route as we speak.  I don’t know how long it will take for him to get to me, but he is coming.  When I get a little anxious I just close my eyes and visualize him on a white horse riding hard to find me.  I see his path being made straight.  I see God supernaturally building bridges over water for him so that he can get to me.  It might sound odd but it is working. 

In that faith that he is coming I am preparing myself.  I am putting my works in line with my faith according to James the second chapter.  The version I am using is the Message.

14 Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? 15 For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved 16 and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup--where does that get you? 17 Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense? 18 I can already hear one of you agreeing by saying "Sounds good. You take care of the faith department, I'll handle the works department." Not so fast. You can no more show me your works apart from your faith than I can show you my faith apart from my works. Faith and works, works and faith, fit together hand in glove. 19 Do I hear you professing to believe in the one and only God, but then observe you complacently sitting back as if you had done something wonderful? That's just great. Demons do that, but what good does it do them? 20 Use your heads! Do you suppose for a minute that you can cut faith and works in two and not end up with a corpse on your hands? 21 Wasn't our ancestor Abraham "made right with God by works" when he placed his son Isaac on the sacrificial altar? 22 Isn't it obvious that faith and works are yoked partners, that faith expresses itself in works? That the works are "works of faith"? 23 The full meaning of "believe" in the Scripture sentence, "Abraham believed God and was set right with God," includes his action. It's that mesh of believing and acting that got Abraham named "God's friend." 24 Is it not evident that a person is made right with God not by a barren faith but by faith fruitful in works? 25 The same with Rahab, the Jericho harlot. Wasn't her action in hiding God's spies and helping them escape--that seamless unity of believing and doing--what counted with God? 26 The very moment you separate body and spirit, you end up with a corpse. Separate faith and works and you get the same thing: a corpse.

I also have a hope chest.  My father told me story of the women of old who used to fill a chest with things for their day of matrimony in faith that her day would come.  My hope chest is being filled for my wedding day and things for our new home.  It is also being filled with books about marriage so that we can keep the love protected and safe.

But you can have a hope chest for anything.  If you have faith that God will use you to minister to his people you can have a special storage container for all of your notes, sermons etc.  You can videotape yourself to critique your style and make changes to your presentations that you will have in the future by faith.  It is wise for you to prepare yourself for God’s working.  

My pastor says he has been preparing for our church for 20 years.  While preparing he has been  in leadership over a great church here in our city.  He never lost sight of what God put in his spirit and in that faith he begin to prepare himself.  The doors of Amazing Grace Christian Church opened in 2010.  When the day came Dr. Adams was ready.  He believed what God said and then put works with it.  He visualized it.  He prepared himself for it.  This is faith with works.

If you have faith that you and your spouse will have a child you can start preparing yourself by getting some literature on parenting and child development and common things a child would need such as blankets, onesies and such.

If you have faith in a business God birth in your spirit you can get a chest to fill with your business cards, literature on businesses and any notes that you have been writing for it.

Notice that all of these examples of faith include moving towards that faith goal.  People act on what they really believe.  Who knows they are expecting guests but does not clean their house in preparation?  The same is true for things we believe in faith.  In our expectant state of mind we prepare for God’s provision.

Dr. Adams shared in the message there are four important factors in visualization:

1.       Frequency- The more you visualize what you have faith about the more it gets into your psyche and your belief is strengthened

2.       Duration- You can’t just believe for one day and then give up.  You have to stay in a constant mind frame of belief and expectancy.

3.       Vividness- This describes the depth of which you are able to see what you have faith for.  It is not a passive wish or desire.  You can see some detail.

4.       Intensity- The amount of emotional energy you put into it.

In psychological terms we would say its mind over matter.  It’s not what is going on presently, it is what we believe will come to pass.

My faith shaded glasses are on presently and the faith that I have in God is removing all traces of anxiety.  My visualization will come to actualization.  I know it will.

Faith Blockers: Get Them Gone

You may be wondering what a faith blocker is.  Well, it could be a number of things.  I have found that usually faith blockers are thoughts or pessimistic people.  No matter what they are your faith life would grow more freely without the weeds of faith blockers interfering.

Here is an example of a thought that is a faith blocker…

“I know God can heal me but even if he doesn’t he is still God.” 

Now the above statement is true.  However, there is some doubt included in the thought.  I was better able to understand the root of the doubt when my pastor shared some information about that form of theos, or idea of God. 

My pastor has a master’s degree and doctorate in Divinity.  What makes him so awesome is that he is a human development expert so not only does he know the God stuff, but he also has an understanding of how the human experience can affect one’s ability to fully embrace and see the God stuff.  This is a very powerful combination to have when you serve God by leading people.

I learned from Dr. Adams that the faith blocking thought “I know God can, but I don’t know if he will do it for me” often comes from a person who has self esteem problems.  Even if they don't have self esteem problems this individual often has had life experiences they have taught them not get their hopes up to high lest they be dashed.  There are legitimate reasons that people think this way.  It is completely understandable from a humanistic perspective.  However, if one is to ever embrace God for who he truly is one must come to terms with anything that gets in the way of embracing Him.  Sometimes it is as simple as asking God to remove it.  Sometimes that means processing through past experiences with a spiritual counselor.  I personally have used both methods in order to come to know God as He is, rather than my understanding of Him.

Another example of a faith blocker is doubt that may enter your mind because the lack of visual supportive evidence.  God has told me something recently.  It totally seems left field.  From a natural perspective it is totally out there.  Yet God has me preparing for something that I desire but have no evidence in the natural realm to lead me to believe it will happen.  What I know about God is that He doesn’t set His children up to look like fools.  I also know that like a father reading a story he is familiar with to His child who has never heard the story, God knows what’s next even when I don’t.  He knows the end from the beginning. 

I had a close friend who is a great man of faith and who has studied God’s word for years tell me that nothing surprises God.  He reminded me that God knows the beginning from the end.  Nothing that can happen is going to change the story.  So when I start to feel anxious I just remember that God knows even what I don’t.  I also know that His thoughts are for my good, to give me a future and a hope.  If I just stay with Him come hell on earth or high water I will always be fine because He is with me.  I will also have exactly what is in His plan for me.  If I being a human parent, flawed and imperfect could plan to give good things to my children what more would my Heavenly Father who is perfect in all His ways do for me, His child?

Another example of a faith blocker comes in human form.  It is a well meaning “friend” or family member who thinks they are just trying to “keep you on track and in reality”.  The reality is sometimes God will share something with you that has no supporting evidence for it today.  You can believe in what God says and still take care of today. 

The best way to rid yourself of these kinds of faith blockers is to be very discerning with the information you share with others.  If someone has proven themselves to be a faith blocker in the past, don’t share with them.  If they ask you how things are going just because they are “concerned” you can respond “Things are going exactly as God has planned” and keep it moving!

Pray and ask for what I call faith friends.  These are other believers you can share your “Noah message” with who won’t mock you but actually will get excited with you and pray for you!

I pray today that we would remove every “weight…that does so easily beset us”.  One such weight could be in the form of a faith blocker.  Get rid of the faith blockers in your life so you can enjoy the anticipation of God’s word coming to past in your life.

Be well,

Chenille

Women: Beware the trap of the Praying Mantis

(A caveat: This is posting, more than most probably is counter cultural to the US culture like most of the writings in the Bible)

The praying mantis…

We all know her. 

She is seemingly spiritual and wise and desires to be married or is married…BUT…she is a man eater.  She may seem gracious, loving, kind, well dressed, well kept and fiscally responsible.  Still she eats her man for dinner then spits him out to do the same the next day.  Not all man eaters are pretty man eaters.  Some are sloppy, rude, and down right insolent but still she eats her man and spits him out to do the same the next day.

The praying mantis figuratively “eats her mate” by emasculating him in word or deed , not showing respect for him as a man or does not respect God’s order for the home.  She may have an unconscious lack of respect for men or just insists on her own way and wants to “wear the pants”.  This could happen in any combination for a multitude of reasons.  Ladies, this is out of order. 

Seriously.

No matter why a woman becomes a praying mantis if she is to show God’s love to all, including a person she is dating, married to or her future husband she must evaluate if she is living in accordance with God’s divine order as it relates to marriage.  You don’t have to be married to know if your thought processes are in accordance with marriage.  There is divine order in marriage and it is for a reason.  The order is perfect; however some immature believers have misused this order in order to usurp power over others.  This madness has been used by the evil one to set mistrust against God’s order and disrupt the home.  The evil one comes to steal, kill and destroy.  What I know is mostly he destroys homes.

A Godly man knows his place is as the head.  He is to serve, honor and protect his home.  He being called by God to lead his family cannot do this successfully without his wife being in her proper place.  A wise man who is dating looking to be married would not choose a woman who looks like a man eater to be his wife because a praying mantis is trouble waiting to happen. 

Saying the man is the head is not to say that men are superior to women.   They are equals with two different roles ordained as such by God.  For a unit to run successfully each person must fulfill their roles properly or things will be out of balance.

Now to the strong, independent women:

It is quite possible to be strong AND independent AND gentle AND respectful AND submissive all at once.  If you are like I was then to you the word submissive makes you see a red doormat.  This is not true.  Unfortunately too many Christian men, well meaning or just plain uninformed have used the words submissive, submit, or submission as a method to demand their way or manipulate others.  

The Bible does call for wives to be submissive but look at how much it focuses on how husbands are to love their wives.  I heard Tony Evans say one day that a Godly wife with a loving husband has no problem submitting to him.  I fully believe this. 

Doormats happen when husbands are not being loving or even abusing their wives and the wives have improper boundaries and just tolerate it.  Both are wrong.  God does not call us to be victims of abuse or to be abusers.  He calls us to his divine order.   A Godly woman has Godly boundaries.

I will show you the King James Version and then a passage in The Message to support what I have shared thus far.  Women, notice that only 2 of the 12 verses speak about submission.  The other 10 verses speak about how loving men are to treat their wives. 

KJV

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

^{The Message: Ephesians 5:22-33}

²²Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. ²³The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. ²⁴So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

²⁵Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church--a love marked by giving, not getting. ²⁶Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, ²⁷dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. ²⁸And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor--since they're already "one" in marriage.

²⁹No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, ³⁰since we are part of his body. ³¹And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." ³²This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. ³³And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

 

The main definition of the word submit in the Merriam-Webster is “ to yield to governance or authority”.  Notice the word YIELD.  For those of us who have seen the word “submit” used wrong we have been given poor examples and need to ask God to remove the damage of the poor examples to show us His way. 

To submit DOES NOT mean to accept abuse, to tolerate sin or agree with sinful behavior.  It means to yield.  I like Merriam Webster definition of yield that defines it as “: to give place or precedence: acknowledge the superiority of someone else”.

A Godly, strong Christian woman knows that submitting to her Godly husband is a part of God’s order.  Likewise a strong, Godly Christian man knows that if he cherishes his wife as God has ordained him to then his Godly, strong Christian wife will have no problem submitting to him. 

Now a word to my beautiful brown skinned sisters:

We must be careful not to fall into the trap of being “the black girl with an attitude” in any relationships, particularly our romantic relationships.  Now, that does not mean that we are passive.  It means that we are not aggressive.  There is a fine line where we should live mostly and that is called being assertive.  It means we lose the aggressiveness gained by seeing things out of order such as our single mothers raising us taking on the role of the head of the house as well as the woman of the house.  Or it may have been learned from seeing our mothers disrespected by a man and we vowed that would never happen to us.  In order to protect ourselves we created a shell.  This shell keeps us from being abused but it also prevents use from successfully take on our role as a wife as defined by God.   

We learn to be strong and independent.  That is a good thing.  However to be effective partners in a marriage we must also learn to be gentle, respectful and submissive.   If that last sentence struck a cord with you consider that to be a good indicator that you may have some past hurts or false beliefs keeping you from accepting this truth.  At this time stop reading and call a therapist because you need some help! 

A Godly wife is marked by her ability to accept and embrace her role.  Part of our responsibility includes submitting and supporting the head, which is the husband.   These roles are supposed to be separate according to God’s divine order. 

One of my favorite move phrases is one that Toula Portokalos’ mother says on the film “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”.  Toula is the main character who is dating.  Mrs. Portokalos is about to go talk to Mr. Portokalos and as she prepares herself she tells Toula that her husband is the head but she is the neck. 

The neck supports and influences the heads movement but the head never ceases to be the head.  I think that is a good way of looking at it.  In biblical love a husband knows that his wife has influence and includes her in on things.

Okay…I have a confession…

I am a recovered praying mantis. 

Note I said RECOVERED.

I choose to trade in my ways for His ways.

As a single woman who hopes to remarry I asked God to show me areas that I need His work to prepare me to be a fitting wife.  He used my father to show me my ways.  In no uncertain terms my father told me I was a man eater.  I was totally shocked but when he began to give me evidence I could see where he was coming from viewing it from a man’s perspective although most of what he shared was unintentional.  Now I am learning what respect looks like and how to apply it in everyday situations.

So what to do if you are a self diagnosed praying mantis?

1)   Pray: Ask for God’s forgiveness and accept it immediately.  Ask him to get the root and to show you His way.
2)  Ask for  forgiveness if appropriate (this is likely only appropriate for spouses or a boyfriend.  Seek wise counsel if there is someone else you feel led to apologize to) 
3)   Get in His love letter to us and read about what a Godly woman looks like

4)   Read a book that will help you understand the differences between men and women so you can know how to show respect to a man: IT LOOKS DIFFERENT TO THEM THAN IT DOES TO US (A good starting place is reading Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn; both are Christian authors)

5)   Keep your spiritual life healthy and God will continue to perfect those things that concern you!

Be Well!

Chenille